ghost castle

zebras

i miss you.

life is weird. sometimes we end up in strange places. i'm in one of those places now. on my drive it's common to see exotic animals. oryx, wildebeest, zebras. i step out of the car. i snap a picture, put it on my story. you usually comment about the strange place i'm in. then, goodbye.

we used to talk so much. about so many things. why can't i remember any of them now? i think i know your voice. but i don't remember any of our conversations.

i remember so much about you. your laugh. your smile. your warmth. i remember how you used to draw little pictures on the back of my hand in sharpie, the delicate way you held me. i remember the feeling of your arms through your jacket, wrapped around my neck. i remember your eyes fluttering. i remember breaking your heart.

how do you remember me? was i a good friend? do you still feel the hurts i gave you? do you miss me like i miss you?

i don't think it was supposed to end up this way. we were together our entire lives. you were a permanent fixture in my world. you still are. it's just that the space where you used to be is now filled by the deafening silence left in your wake....

the world is so dark now, so cold. i'm surrounded on all sides by infinite space. i've burned out over the years we've spent apart. i've grown into less.

i have your number. why don't i call? we live so close. why don't we meet up? would you draw on my hand again?

i don't know what would happen if i saw you tomorrow. how would i react? would my eyes well up with tears? would i withdraw in, ashamed of myself? would you warm me, like you used to? like the sun?

i miss when we talked about more than just zebras.

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