ghost castle

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i feel so fuckin ugly, so gross, disgusting, repulsive.

the idea of my own ugliness is ingrained into me from so long of telling myself i was gross and worthless.

what the hell is my face? my body? what the fuck am i supposed to be?

who do i even talk to about this? i've never talked to anyone about anything like this. who would it not be weird to talk about with? who would tell me the truth? who would i believe? what would i even say?

i feel like i'll never know what it feels like to be wanted or desired. i feel like i'll always be disappointed by what i am.