wow. holy shit. that was rough. i sunk so, so, so deep, so fast. from okay to rock bottom in maybe forty seconds. the mind is its own worst enemy. so quickly it can spiral. and i'm still not completely okay.
why does it have to be so vivid? almost cartoonishly over-detailed. can't it just be words? can't it be a sentence in my head, not pictures? not feelings?
the prep. the feel. the taste. the squeeze. the sound. the hurt. the dark. the look on their faces.
it's parasitic. leeching on me. draining me. goddamn it.