ghost castle

who could've guessed?

stupid me. stupid idea. of course it was. i wrote as much.

pretty much all the klono is gone. fifteen mgs. took almost all of it in one night.

i need to—fuck, i just—i don't know. i was gonna say "get myself together," but i'm shattered glass.

my memories are just starting to come together. i remember making an ass of myself on snapchat, though she denies i did. she says it was a fine conversation. from what i remember? i made a fool of myself.

what else do i remember? i remember saying fuck it and downing the bottle. i remember playing games, making that "snapchat soliloquy" entry.

but what i mostly remember was that it wasn't very fun. i didn't get the peace i wanted. it didn't feel the same. off. weak. benzo tolerance builds quick. i guess i've fucked mine up. took too much and now nothing will get me where i want to be. my self-destructive way out, sealed off with bricks. and now i'm just stuck in. . . this. in me.

who could've guessed?