ghost castle


it seems weird to say that i miss conversation, considering i've been avoiding conversation. it seems silly that i've avoided talking to people the last few weeks when really i want to talk. i've wanted the silence and i've hated the silence, but no matter what i've done i haven't been able to break the silence. i've been listening to music but it feels like every other song i listen to is mocking me. jeff rosenstock:

i got so tired of discussing my future
i started avoiding the people i love
evenings of silence and mornings of nausea
shaking, sweating i can't throw up

i used to listen to the album "we cool?" and i understood the songs but didn't relate to them. nowadays its quite different. another song comes to mind, by chewing on tinfoil:

"trust your intuition,"
they're words that i believe
now all the songs i loved when i was young
are starting to apply to me

oh well. i'm bored. lonely. oh well.